There is a lot of anticipation when going through the divorce process. You may find yourself waiting for it all to be over so that you can finally move forward with your life. The time after divorce is a time to rebuild and recreate a life that you love.
But it can feel like it takes a long time to recover. Sometimes you feel like you are just waiting for something to change for the better.
The change occurs when YOU decide to make the changes!
But what do you do when you are feeling stuck and unable to move forward? The changes that need to be made to completely transform your life can feel overwhelming. You may be barely making it through each day hoping something will change for the better. You may be living by the old adage, “time heals all wounds.” But it really doesn’t. Time dulls the pain although it’s still within you. The same patterns that created the situation or circumstances you find yourself in are still working behind the scenes in your subconscious.
Wishing and hoping something will shift so you won’t have to continue to live with your current circumstances will not get you the life you have dreamed about. If you continue to go about each day the way you always have, nothing will change.
I know that’s where I was for a long while. I couldn’t get myself motivated to do the things I knew I needed to do to change my life so that I was living in alignment with my true purpose.
Healing looks different for each one of us. But to create a life that is completely different from the one you have been living, you cannot just wait for your life to change, hoping something will eventually be different. There are some things you need to do to get the wheels in motion.
Here are 3 things to focus on to begin moving forward if you are feeling stuck!
Accept Your Current Situation
I know what kept me stuck was how upset I was over where I found myself after the divorce. I continued to mourn the loss of my dreams that I had for where I wanted to be in my life. It wasn’t until I accepted the situation and my life exactly how it was, that I began to shift and look forward instead of in the past. The past is good for looking at patterns that keep you creating the same circumstances over and over. Once you become aware of your patterns, you can make a conscious choice to change them. But living in the past, continually mourning all you’ve lost sucks the life force energy out of you which makes it very difficult to take any kind of action toward positive change.
When you realize the power within you is in the present moment, you will feel energized about creating the kind of life you truly desire. This is when taking action to transform your life becomes easier.
Become conscious of the repeating patterns in your life
This is where looking back on your past is beneficial. It’s important to take stock of what patterns you keep repeating in your life that keeps you feeling like you are not living on your rightful path.
Do you see a pattern in the type of relationship you continue to choose, leaving you feeling defeated and frustrated? How are your finances? Is there a pattern there that you keep repeating? What is the quality of your relationships with family and friends?
Pay close attention to the areas of your life that are causing you the most pain right now. This is where you find the gold to finally understand why you’ve been making the choices you’ve been making. When you are mining for this gold, keep track by writing them down. Becoming conscious of what your patterns are will begin to shift you in a new direction.
Take action, no matter how small, without waiting for others to change or to give you approval to change
I believe a lot of what holds us back from moving forward is we believe that others need to change in order for us to change. We may say, “if only my ex-husband was different, my life would be better.” “If he was a better co-parent, I’d be able to find the time to work out.” These are lies we tell ourselves. No one needs to change in your life for you to have all that you desire. The creation of your dream life comes from you. And only you. You are only responsible for the choices you make, and you cannot change anyone else anyway. We waste too much energy hoping that others will change so that we can. It’s nonsense. Let go of that today and feel the freedom and power you have over your own life.
On some level, you may be waiting for someone to give their approval for you to make the changes you want to make. This is another piece of this puzzle that holds us back. We feel we have to have approval by a parent, ex-spouse, siblings, our children in order to create change in our life. No one has power over the choices you make each day, except you.
What will you choose today to get you on a path to creating all that YOU desire?
You can, right this moment, make a conscious choice to change your life. Choose one area of your life in which you are feeling the most pain. Choose the area of your life that if it remains the same for the next year or the next 5 years, makes you collapse on the inside.
This is a place to start.
Beginning today, write down one thing you can do that will start shifting your direction toward the change you desperately desire.
Your thoughts, feelings and actions are within your control. Choose what you put your focus on everyday. Choose the empowering thoughts, the high vibration feelings and then you will be able to take small steps from the inspiration that will well up within you.
You’ve got this!
With Love and Light,
Lisa
Positive Quote of the Day: “Sometimes when things fall apart , well, that’s the big opportunity to change.” -Pema Chodron
If you’d like support to heal from your heartbreak, check out my Heartbreak Recovery Kit: Your 30-Day Prescription to Happiness After Divorce.