Divorce is a difficult process and a time of tremendous loss. When you can look past the pain and use your divorce as a catalyst for your greatest healing, your life will change in ways you never could have imagined.
These changes are not always just your outer circumstances, but how you feel about yourself and who you become is just as important.
When I was in the depths of despair when my marriage was falling apart, I heard my intuitive voice whisper to me that this was happening to get my attention.
I knew on a deep level I needed to heal my own trauma and limiting beliefs and that this time in my life was giving me the opportunity to finally look at all that needed healing.
I knew deep within, even as I was burning up with pain and grief at the loss of my marriage, that this was happening FOR me not TO me.
My divorce was the catalyst for my greatest healing.
Healing is not a linear path and I continue to evolve and grow.
But I’ve been able to not only thrive as a single mom, but heal toxic beliefs about myself, love, and relationships.
I’m now in a loving, respectful relationship with a man who is 15 years younger than me for the past 6 years. It’s a relationship that is consistent and loving and I laugh everyday with him.
It took time to heal, but the one thing I continually did was listen to my inner voice and be guided from within.
Intuition is so subtle.
You won’t find it while racing to work in your car, applying the last bits of make-up in the rearview mirror, talking on blue-tooth while making a left hand turn into a busy intersection.
The accident that will most likely occur might momentarily get your attention, but for most people the connection between the accident and listening to their hearts is not evident.
When heartbreak occurs in your life, you have a choice to make.
You can falter under the weight of grief and suffer greatly or you can stop for a moment and question what your heartbreak is trying to tell you.
Here are 5 things you can do so you can experience your greatest healing after divorce:
- Stop and pay attention to what your heart is trying to tell you.
Allowing yourself time to grieve and process your emotions after a traumatic event such as divorce is essential to moving forward.
Taking some time in between the devastating moments to drop down into your heart, can give you a new perspective to your pain. Take a moment, breathe and ask yourself, “what benefits could there possibly be for me in this situation?”
Learning to listen to answers from within takes time and practice. Trust what you hear and write it down. Try doing this on a daily basis and see what comes up for you.
2. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem
After a great loss, our self-esteem can take the biggest hit leaving us feeling powerless and not very good about ourselves.
Throw in betrayal and lies from the relationship and you have a recipe for hitting your rock bottom.
Learning how to rebuild your self-esteem again by looking within for the answers, will help you learn to feel good about yourself.
When you understand that who you really are has nothing to do with your outer circumstances and everything to do with what’s inside, you’ll understand the importance of doing emotional healing work.
When you promise yourself you’ll do something and you don’t follow through, your self-esteem takes a hit each time. It’s hard to stay consistent when we are in deep, emotional pain. But setting very small goals for yourself each day and following through, will help you rebuild your self-esteem.
Connecting with supportive people and engaging in activities that make you feel confident are also great ways to build positive self-esteem after divorce.
3. Plan for Your Future, But Not Until You Heal First.
Planning for your future is probably the last thing on your mind. When you are grieving and in emotional pain, you can barely think of today. In fact, when you envision your future it may look bleak due to your heartache.
The first step is to get to a place of surrender to where you find yourself in the present time. Working through the grief cycle does take time. But there are energy and emotional healing tools that can help you clear the dark, heavy energy. When you clear this energy, you can begin to see things with more clarity.
When you begin to see clearly and are accepting of your situation, you can begin to heal. Doing inner work to heal limiting beliefs will allow you to dream bigger than ever before. Then you can plan for a future that feels good to you and one you may have never imagined.
4. Manage Your Finances.
This is important because many women hand over financial responsibility to their partner. Knowing where you stand financially is so important so you can move forward without significant fear. Issues with money and finances are connected to how we feel about ourselves.
If you stress and worry about money, you can bet you have limiting beliefs about abundance and worthiness.
When you look closely at your finances, debt included, you will know where you are beginning from. Then you can go from there. Doing inner healing work on issues around money is the key to thriving financially after divorce. This will help you release the heaviness of fear and open up a whole new world for you.
It’s never too late to become financially responsible and this will empower you in all areas of your life.
5. Practice self-care.
It is essential to prioritize your physical and mental health needs. This includes eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest. This will help you release old energy while you do the inner work. You will feel empowered when you feel strong mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Begin slow and follow-through as you can also rebuild your self-esteem step-by-step by focusing on getting healthier emotionally and physically.
The most important thing to remember through this journey is that this is about YOU and the evolution of your soul.
Taking the focus off the other person will help you turn the focus where it needs to be and that’s on you and your life only.
Even if you have small children you are responsible for, you need to prioritize yourself. When you heal from within, your children heal. The way you show up in your life will emanate to how your children show up.
We are all connected and it’s all energy.
Change your inner emotional landscape and rebuild from within and watch not only your life flourish, but your children’s life as well.
Wishing you so much love,
