There are several lies you may have heard about what to expect from life after divorce. Life after divorce can be tough and emotionally painful no matter what the situation is. However, it can be a struggle or it can be a time of great healing and rewarding on so many levels.
You may find that you come to a crossroads after the divorce is final. It may not even be that obvious, but you do have a choice to make. We can’t always control outside circumstances such as an ex cheating and leaving the marriage, but you can control how you react to the situation.
At the beginning of the journey, the most important thing you can do is give yourself some grace. It is okay to wallow in the murkiness of grief for a while. But staying there will do more damage to you and the quicker you decide how you are going to create your life after divorce, the better you will be.
I have found that the struggle after my divorce was made so much worse by believing in the lies that I heard about life after divorce.
The list below will shatter those lies so you can confidently make choices that are for your highest and greatest good.
Here are the 7 lies you may have heard about life after divorce:
Lie #1 It’s going to be hard.
Everything I read while going through my divorce, was that life will be hard from now on. It did not make me feel confident in my ability to create a life for myself and my daughter after divorce. While there are some aspects to life after divorce that are hard, overall it is what you make of it. Changing my perspective from “this is too hard” to “I can do this” was the catapult I needed to move forward in a powerful way.
Lie #2 You will have to downsize your lifestyle.
This one lie took my breath away. Even though I had been successful and owned two homes on my own before getting married, I bought into the lie that I wouldn’t be able to maintain the lifestyle I was used to as a single mom. I allowed the fear of outside influences affect my ability to know I could create a lifestyle that felt good to me. You do not have to believe this lie. Your lifestyle may change temporarily, but once the dust settles, you can manifest anything you desire.
You can take many different paths to get you to a place where you love your life again. The power to make the changes you desire comes from within.
Lie #3 You will never love again.
This is an outrageous lie. It is definitely a lie that keeps us fearing the unknown. Just because your marriage ended, does not mean you will never love another again. But to have a love that succeeds, you will have to do some inner work to change your inner landscape.
Lie #4 It’s too late to achieve your dreams.
It’s never too late to accomplish your deepest heart’s desire. I remember feeling like it was too late for me to recreate my business after my divorce. These types of lies keep us stuck. You, and only you, get to decide how you are going to live your life each day. There are many successful people who did not achieve success until well into their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Don’t let age hold you back after your divorce. If you don’t know what it is you desire for your life, click here to book a free call with me to uncover your most cherished dreams.
Lie #5 You will never feel good about yourself again.
The ending of a relationship or marriage can create a downward spiral even for the most confident. Rejection is a tough pill to swallow and can leave you feeling bad about yourself. If you can, remember that the rejection is a message for you to go within and find where you’ve been rejecting yourself. Once you commit to doing the inner work, you can begin to build up your self-esteem. Self-esteem can go up and down depending on life’s circumstances, but once you have the tools to cultivate your self-esteem when it’s low, you will always be able to bounce back.
Learn other ways to feel good. Check out these additional posts:
- 5 Powerful Changes you can make after Divorce
- 10 Ways to Overcome the Ending of a Long-Term Marriage
- How to Rewrite Your Story After Divorce to Create a Life you Love
- 21 Ways to Find Joy in the Little Things
- 7 Simple Steps to Manifesting Anything you Desire (Even after Heartbreak)
Lie #6 You won’t be able to handle not having your kids with you.
This may be true in the beginning. It’s almost the anticipation of having to separate from your children that causes the most suffering. Once it happens the first few times, you will notice the pain dissipating a little. The one thing that helped me the most was prayer. I prayed for peace when my daughter went for her weekends with her dad. I also chose that time to focus on my dreams and do things that I have always wanted to do. If you use the time you are alone to get to know yourself better and focus on personal development, you will notice you feel stronger. You will then show up as the parent you always wanted to be. You will begin to cherish your time alone (and this does not make you a bad parent) to focus on self-care.
Lie #7 Dating right away will take the pain away.
This one is insidious. Many people think if they just move on with someone else, the pain will go away. It’s not true. It’s the same as stuffing down your feelings with food, alcohol, or drugs to numb yourself. Meeting someone new, you may experience the initial high of attraction, but that will quickly dissipate if you didn’t give yourself time to heal. The feelings will come back up. Taking the time after heartbreak and divorce to focus on your own healing will help you move forward in a much more powerful way than ignoring your feelings.
Which one of these lies did you hear? Did I miss any? Please comment below. I would love to hear from you.
Wishing you so much love,
Quote of the Day: “What lies behind you and lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Click below to grab your copy of “Your Happily Ever After Divorce Story” and begin your journey to uncovering your greatest self and live a life you love.
