Today I had to see my primary care physician for an annual physical. The wait to see the doctor was much longer than usual and once I was taken back to the exam room I was rushed through the vitals the nurse needed to perform before the doctor came in. Although she was rushing she was quite nice and said that they were short nurses today. The visit with my doctor was great and she patiently listened to me and any health concerns I had. One concern I had was that I was feeling heart palpitations again and brought this up. She said I would have an EKG and she would send in the nurse when we were finished with our visit.
Five minutes after she left, a different nurse came barreling through the door with the cart holding the EKG machine. She didn’t say hello or look at me. She just asked me if I was waiting for an EKG. To which I replied, “yes.” Next thing I knew she was hurriedly placing the electrodes on me and snapping the wires into place. When it was finished, she tore off the electrodes. I asked her if she was very busy and I received a curt reply of “yes.” Right before she left was when she asked me my name to write on the top of the result page. She left the room with the same force with which she entered. I just let the feeling of annoyance go out the door with her.
Until I had to see her again for blood work. Another nurse popped in the room to say she would be back to do the blood tests. I was relieved. That is until the cranky nurse flew into the room. I said to her that another nurse said she was coming back to take my blood. She mumbled something under her breath about how the other nurse was not doing her job because she should have just stayed with me and did the tests. She proceeded to jab me in the arm to take blood. My annoyance level started to rise and reached its peak when she said, “I should have just let her take your blood because she’s not very good at it.”
I felt really annoyed and was about to something back in response when all of a sudden I felt an unbelievable calm come over me. This allowed me to not take her comment personally and realized she was just expressing a lot of anger and misery that had nothing to do with me. Except that she is in a profession that when working at warp speed angrily could result in a serious mistake. I said to her, “You’re going to have a long day if you keep going the way you are.” She said with her voice quivering with emotion, “you don’t know the whole story.” And then she mumbled something about the other nurse.
I missed my opportunity to say in a compassionate way that she didn’t have to worry about the other nurse; that maybe focusing on being the best nurse she could be was her main priority. That calmly and politely taking care of her patients was more important. That the anger brewing in her was making her very miserable and causing her a lot of stress. She was the one suffering.
I believe it is our right to speak up and not tolerate poor behavior. The way to do it is compassionately because the minute you come back with a snide remark is when things turn bad fast. I left there wishing I had said more. I was still feeling annoyed. So I am sharing this story as a way to let it go. Why do I need to suffer and cause myself stress for the rest of my day or however long I choose to be angry? I can let it go. What I learned was that I need to speak up even more in the future.
Here is a great story about letting go:
“Two monks are walking along a country path. They soon are met by a caravan, a group of attendants carrying their wealthy and no-so-kindly mistress and her possessions. They come to a muddy river and cannot cross with both mistress and packages. They must put one down and cannot figure out how to do so. So the elder monk volunteers to carry the woman across the river, on his back, allowing the attendants to carry her things and then all can go on their way. The woman does not thank him and rudely pushes him aside to get back to her caravan.”
“After traveling some way on their own, the younger monk turns to his master, and says, “I cannot believe that old woman! You kindly carried her across the muddy river, on your very own back, and not only did she not offer thanks, but she actually was quite rude to you!” The master calmly and quietly turned to his student and offered this observation: “I put the woman down some time ago. Why are you still carrying her?”