Your role as single mom can help heal the world and just hearing that sentence may seem so out of touch with reality.
Between working hard to balance work, childcare, chores, cooking, and schoolwork, this daily list of to dos can be overwhelming. These are just a few of the daily tasks in the life of a single mom. The little things can pile up quickly and cause tremendous overwhelm. You can’t see the big picture when all of this is piling on top of you.
But if you can take a step back and a deep breath, you may be able to shift your perspective to understanding the greater meaning to your life’s circumstances.
Single mom is probably not the title you ever wanted.
Or maybe you did.
Either way there is a lot that can come out of your role as a single mom.
Motherhood can be a time for great healing or a time of turmoil. If you are open to healing, it can be a time for uncovering your greatest potential. The old way of mothering is becoming obsolete as more and more women go within and do the inner work to heal old childhood wounds.
As a single mom, you will have wounds show up more often as you are handling the responsibility full-time when you have your child or children. Even if you have 50/50 custody arrangements, when your kids are with you, it can trigger unresolved feelings of rejection, anger, abandonment, loss, and unworthiness.
Being unconscious of why you are reacting to your child’s behavior instead of being proactive is the old paradigm of parenting. The good news is that it’s never been a better time to be a single mom. There are numerous resources and support to help you on your parenting journey.
If you need a little more evidence that you can do this thing called single motherhood, check out this study that shows single moms are just as happy as their married counterparts.
When you surrender to your new or existing role as a single mom, you can begin to challenge limiting beliefs that come up around this. Beliefs such as “I won’t be able to handle everything” or “Nothing ever works out and it’s too hard.”
These beliefs may be running your life like a constant hum in the back of your mind. Once you learn to banish these beliefs, you’ll notice shifts in energy and new ways to relate to yourself, your children, and the world.
If it seems like a huge leap, know anything is possible if you are open to it.
Here are 5 things you can do to help heal the world while raising your children:
You prioritize your own healing
Focusing on your own healing helps heal your children thus the world around them. Taking the time to understand why you are being triggered when you react to your child’s behavior, will help you heal whatever old wound is trying to get your attention. As you work to heal your own trauma, limiting beliefs around parenting, and lower vibration emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, hatred, despair, and grief, you heal your children and those around you and them.
This is the ultimate in shining your light out into the world so others can heal as well. You have a responsibility to heal yourself and when you rise to that occasion, others will heal. When you work on changing your inner landscape, your outer circumstances will change.
You are the role model for your children
You get to show your child or children what resiliency and strength looks like. This is how we raise strong, resilient children who grow up to be strong, resilient adults.
We can banish the belief that children from divorce cannot thrive.
It doesn’t matter who else is in their life, you can still be the primary role model for your children and instill morals and values that can last a lifetime. Further, you can be a great example for positive body image. In today’s world of social media, younger and younger children are being influenced by others who show the perfect body, the perfect home, the perfect life. It’s up to us, as single moms, to teach our children that perfection does not exist.
If you have your own issues with body image, it’s a great time to focus on yourself and healing so that your children are being shown what it is like to have a positive self-image.
What you are teaching your children is how to be independent and be capable of relying on themselves.
This role you are in can show your children that no matter what you have their back, and you will never give up giving them the best you can be. This is a valuable lesson for young children to receive to grow up to be successful adults.
You set clear boundaries
Teaching our children about boundaries is very different than demonstrating what clear, healthy boundaries looks and feels like. By setting an example of a health boundary, you are modeling to your children, healthy ways to relate to others. If you left your marriage to establish a healthier boundary for yourself, your children will see this.
You demonstrate confidence
You initially may feel very unsteady and not confident in your ability to tackle your new role as single mom. You may feel like a newborn colt, very wobbly, as you gain your bearings.
As you take day by day and do what needs to be done, you will increase your confidence. If you make a mistake or a wrong turn and don’t give up, rather you change course, you are showing it is okay to make a mistake and learn from it.
You remain positive despite hurt and hardships.
Despite all you’ve been through emotionally and maybe physically, you show your children how to let go and forgive. Of course, forgiveness is a process. It’s not easy. By focusing on your healing first, you can help your children heal as well from the hurt of having their family split up. When your children see you forgive the unforgivable, you set an example of self-love. Because forgiveness is FOR YOU; not for the other person.
If you are continuing to struggle with the small things and can’t seem to get your bearings, reaching out for support is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your children, and ultimately the world. Because what the world needs is you showing up as your best self and shining your light.
Wishing you so much love,
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