After a divorce, you may find that you have to let go of so much that it can feel very unsettling. You are essentially letting go of your life as you knew it. The day to day living, finances, material goods, your dreams for your future with your now ex-spouse. It’s a lot to digest.
The process of uncoupling is tremendously painful and it can feel as if you’ve lost all control over your life.
I know I felt as if the earth gave way beneath my feet and I had no solid ground to stand on. It was disorienting and the more I tried to hold on to the past, the worse I felt. The more I tried to find familiar ground, the more lost and out of control I felt.
Because the truth was that I didn’t have solid ground and that getting divorced is akin to floating in space. You have no idea where you are going to land. What I’ve learned in the past several months is that it’s okay not to know. I became acutely aware that how I had been living my life with my plans for the future was not guaranteed. Life is uncertain whether you are divorced or not. It’s just when you are in a marriage, you feel as if the future is set. And when you get divorced, it feels as if the world has turned upside down.
Learning to live in the moment and not planning my future has been the hardest, yet most profound lesson that I’m actually living. I have no idea what tomorrow looks like let alone where I’ll be living when my lease expires in a few months. There are so many uncertain variables in my life right now. Living each day with no plan for the future feels scary at times, yet exhilarating at others because I feel like anything is possible.
A few months ago, I met with my daughter’s teacher for a parent-teacher conference and at the end she asked me if my daughter would be returning for the next year (she is in a private school). I said to her, “I have no idea what I’m doing tomorrow. I’ll have to get back to you.” Of course, I wanted to say, “yes, of course she will be back.” I needed that confirmation of certainty in that moment. I walked out of there feeling very uneasy, but also a bit free in knowing that I get to choose how we live each day. I will live into the future as it comes.
It seems very cliche when someone says to “live in the present moment.” Many people espouse this wisdom. And it’s good advice.
But how many actually live in the present moment without taking trips into the future?
It’s normal for our minds to wander down the road the way we think things need to be. And after a divorce, it’s as if your mind is spinning with all possible scenarios that could occur or not occur. With some of the scenarios our minds conjure up being scary. Our worries tend to mount when it feels like we are feeling around in the dark for something solid to hold onto.
The best way to navigate through this time (and forever after) is to drop down into your heart and be guided from within. Knowing deep down that Spirit/the Universe or whatever you call a Higher Power can see how things can be orchestrated in your life for your highest and greatest good and that you will be lead to each part of your journey.
This relinquishing control over to Unseen Energy is what can change your life and the direction you are heading. It can free up space in your mind where worry has taken hold and allow for possibilities to emerge that you would have never thought of if you continued to cling to the past or wrestle control over your future.
Check out your FREE 7-Step Blueprint to learn a healing process to get you on your path to living your BEST life after divorce! Click this link www.findyourtrueessence.com/blueprint or the link to the right.
With Love and Light,
Lisa
Positive Quote of the Day: “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” -Eckhart Tolle