It’s a strange thing when life knocks you down to your knees. It feels as though you are sinking into a dark, black hole from which there is no return. Several years ago my world imploded and the ground beneath me crumbled. I felt like I slammed into a brick wall. I will tell you that being that low felt like I was dying. I had been living in the dark and I just couldn’t do it any longer.
I needed the light. I needed it like I needed to breathe!
The light is where the joy, love and peace reside. In the dark, there is nothing but panic, fear, worry, despair and anguish. I cannot create from this place. It all felt so hopeless. At the time, I wasn’t able to focus on anything other than the pain. As I began to do the deep, inner soul work to heal from my heartbreak and take great care of myself, was when I began to climb out of the black hole. I began to see glimmers of the light. And it was so beautiful!
I believe with all my heart that what happened was my soul’s way of preparing me to go to higher levels of consciousness. And when this happens, the outside world changes drastically. It’s almost as if a traumatic event can split you open in places that couldn’t be opened otherwise.
The grief process is like a spiral. You spiral in and out of different stages of grief. But when you go within to heal, you can move through the process with more ease. I am so thankful I have the choice to choose between darkness and the light. And dammit, I choose the light! Every day I will make a conscious choice to choose the light no matter what is happening in my life. And you have that choice every single minute of every single day too!
When you find yourself still grieving after your divorce is final, know that this is part of the process. It’s another layer of grief coming up to be healed. Putting one foot in front of the other and living moment by moment may be all that you can do at first. Sitting with the uncertainty no matter how uncomfortable, is part of going through the process. I know how difficult it is to live in a state of uncertainty and what I’m learning is that it’s all uncertain. Before I had a false sense of security, but life is meant to be lived moment by moment and day by day. So know that one of your greatest lessons after divorce may be to finally learn how to live into the uncertainty of it all.
Try to remember as much as you can to trust the process. My purpose for sharing this is to remind you that you too have a choice between darkness and light no matter what is happening in your life. Choose the light. Please choose the light.
With Love and Light,
Lisa
Positive Quote of the Day: “We don’t reach the light through endless analysis of the dark. We reach the light by choosing the light.”
-Marianne Williamson