Feeling lost after divorce is the number one grievance from women. Divorce is a time of massive upheaval and can leave you feeling lost, confused, and disoriented.
You may have no idea which way to turn for help and feel disconnected from others and the world in general. It’s difficult to know which way to turn when you feel as if you are grasping for solid ground in the dark.
This time after the divorce is final is what I call the Void. It’s a time of emptiness that when you look around you see no sign of your past life and no sign of your future life. This leaves you with an emptiness that can make you feel like your lost your way in life with no hope for a better future.
Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the challenges of divorce. It’s common to experience fear, self-doubt, guilt, and self-criticism during this time.
The word divorce means an “ending”, but you may feel like your whole life is ending, not just your marriage.
However, divorce can also be a profound new beginning. It’s how you decide to perceive this time in your life.
By embracing a journey of healing and transformation that follows divorce you will find yourself on the other side of the pain and grief much faster than if you fight it every step of the way.
In this post, we’ll explore the theme of rebirth and renewal after divorce, delving into strategies to help you change your perception and embrace the journey of self-discovery and emerge stronger and more radiant than ever before.
Here are 7 ways to overcome feeling lost after divorce:
Stay in the Present Moment
There is something sacred about the present moment that can help you feel more secure and grounded in your life after such an emotional upheaval.
I remember the heightened emotion I felt each day after my separation and what helped me through those first several weeks was living moment by moment. I didn’t look back at the past or take a trip into my future. At that time, everything ahead of me seemed bleak and depressing so I knew staying focused on just living in each moment would help me get through the really dark time.
I would create simple rituals and routines in my life in those days so I didn’t overwhelm myself. I gave myself the Grace I needed to make sure I was taking care of the basics of living for myself and my daughter and letting everything else go. It was so freeing that it helped me move through the grief and pain and come out the other side with a renewed perspective. This is when I was able to begin the deep, inner work I knew I needed.
Give yourself some time to grieve by setting up a simple routine without putting any undue pressure on yourself or your children during this transition time.
Give up the plan you had for your future
I know this may make your stomach twist a bit. However, giving up the images you had for your future will allow you to grieve fully and go on to create something even better.
If you can remember that your plans are just elusive ideas that are not real in the moment, you can find some peace. The future is a blank slate in front of you. The point of power to design a life you love is in the present moment. But as you are grieving the loss of your past and your elusive future that you had imagined, a new vision for your future will begin to take shape.
By surrendering in the moment, you allow all possibilities for your life to come to you. Then you get to choose a new, brighter future for yourself.
Find a Good Support System
Create a support system that includes family, friends, a good therapist, a coach, a healer, and/or a spiritual teacher. Be careful to choose wisely amongst family and friends and surround yourself with people who will provide emotional comfort and empathy. You don’t need anyone telling you what to do at a time like this, or worse telling you to just get over it.
I remember the most profound moment when I reached out to a dear friend who just allowed me to sob on the other end of the phone. I felt no judgement. In fact, I felt so supported it was as if she was holding sacred space for me to feel my feelings without having to fix anything.
I also hired an emotional/energy healer to help me dive deep within and root out all that was in my way of creating a different and better life for myself. I knew deep down that the ending of my marriage was an awakening and that I needed to finally heal the wounds I had carried around for years.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries for yourself is an act of self-love. Setting a clear boundary with your ex will help you manage your time of recovery with renewed strength. Every time you get pulled back into an argument or rehashing the past, you give your power away. This can leave you feeling weak and unsteady emotionally.
It’s also important to create clear boundaries with others in your life. You may actually let go of friendships or limit your time with certain family members that aren’t there for you emotionally. This is about you and your life going forward. Learning to say no to others without guilt or to firmly state what you need in the present if someone is pushing you to move on, will bring you back to your center.
Focus on Learning Something New
Your idea for your future may shift as you surrender to the present and allow yourself to feel and heal old emotional wounds. Is there a passion you’ve always wanted to follow? Learning something new can give you a fresh perspective on what else is possible for your life. It can help you overcome feeling lost after divorce and will give you a sense of purpose as you move through the healing phase.
It will also bring you back to the present as your mind is occupied with the task of learning new things. It can instill a newfound sense of confidence and empowerment. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, as you progress along your journey.
Fuel new connections
You may not feel like meeting new people when you are feeling so low. And you don’t need to put any pressure on yourself to do that. But you may notice new people just showing up in your life exactly when you need them to. When you surrender and release the past, you are more open in a way you may have not been before. This openness may leave you feeling a bit vulnerable, but also more open to allowing love from others in.
This is not about a new romantic relationship, but more about fueling new friendships and creating a support system you can rely on. It can also help you serve others in a way you didn’t before. Be open to all possibilities.
Get to know your Higher Self
Learning to connect with your Higher Self and Spirit will allow you to begin to listen to your wise inner council. When you can learn to not only listen, but follow what you hear, your life will flow with more ease and peace.
You can bloom like a flower in sunlight when you connect to the Divine Light. Your Higher Self and Spirit are filled with the Divine guiding light ready to illuminate your path forward.
I remember the time I was so worn down with a feeling of defeat, when I heard the words, “trust the process.” When I leaned back and opened my arms to allow myself to be guided from within, things in my life shifted without any effort on my part.
I know I forget how unproductive fear and worry is and that I have a whole spiritual council waiting for me to ask for assistance, but when I do remember, it’s like a physical and emotional release. You have access to spiritual council as well. You just need to ask for assistance.
Feeling lost after divorce is a common occurrence, but you can use this time to redefine who you are and assess your life. You may find what was important to you before, isn’t anymore and a whole world of infinite possibilities will show up for you.
By acknowledging your emotions, seeking support, rediscovering yourself, learning new things, establishing boundaries, connecting to your Higher Self and Spirit, and embracing the journey, you can navigate the landmines of divorce and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before. Remember, you are not alone, and brighter days lie ahead.
Wishing you so much love,
