Taking time to truly get to know yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself after a divorce.  Without knowing who you really are, you cannot attract a relationship to you that supports mutual growth and the ability to grow into your highest potential.

When there is a change in your relationship status, such as a break-up or divorce, jumping straight into another relationship may feel good in the short-term, but may not be for your best interest in the long-term.

The 3 reasons for staying single after a divorce are:

Giving yourself time to grieve

Going through the grieving process on your own can be very painful, but it’s a necessary step to uncover all that is hidden within such as limiting beliefs about what you truly deserve, what your boundaries are, and what pattern or patterns are attracting the same “type” of person in your life. When you don’t take time to go within, the emotional pain gets stuffed down and this gets added to the emotional baggage you are already carrying around. If you don’t take time to heal your wounds, the same type of situation may show up so that you CAN heal. The next person that shows up, may feel totally different, but may bring with them other “baggage” to help you heal all that wasn’t healed in your past relationship or during your marriage.

When you are in the grief process, it’s difficult to then attempt to navigate a new relationship.  Being alone for a time after your divorce will allow your heart to remain open.  And when you feel you are able to truly let the past go, you may find that you are able to move forward in a more powerful and loving way.

Learning from your mistakes

After a divorce, it’s important to take time to reflect on what your part was in the break-up of your marriage.  No matter what caused the end of the marriage or who was most at fault, it takes two to not only build a relationship, but both people are responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.  It’s essential for you to OWN all that was yours so that you can now change it.  This is not about being mired in regret.  It’s about learning what you don’t want to create in your life anymore.  It’s about learning what you love about your life.  If you don’t take some time to learn about yourself or what you need to heal, the next person you jump into a relationship with, will, I assure you, have something within them that will mirror the inner work you need to do.  By jumping from one relationship to another, you don’t give yourself this golden opportunity to create a life that is about YOU!

Getting to know yourself and making sure loving yourself is your number 1 priority.

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What are some things you have always wanted to try, but didn’t?  What food is your favorite?  Do you remember the movie, The Runaway Bride?  Without spoiling it if you haven’t seen it, the premise of the plot is that you can’t love another until you finally learn who you are and learn to love yourself.  The main character had so much fear in fully committing to another person, that she kept running from the relationships she was in and then jumping right into another one.   She conformed to whatever the guy she was with wanted or liked.  When she finally took the time to be on her own, she discovered how she really liked her eggs or what things made her happy.  This time is about finding what makes you feel good.  It’s the silver lining, if you believe in this, of divorce.  

Once you go through the grieving process and are able to come out the other side and cultivate a life for yourself that is rich in everything that makes you YOU, you will then be able to attract a true love partner and share your life from a place of strength, confidence and real, genuine love.Divorce is a difficult process to go through.  The gift in facing yourself head on is a life you can call your own.  This process can be the catalyst for creating your BEST life.

With Love and Light,

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Positive Quote of the Day:  “Love yourself and the rest of your life will fall into place!” -Lisa Bruchac


Grab your copy of “Your Happily Ever After Divorce Story” and learn a powerful 5-step process to heal on a deep level and create a life you love and adore.