Women, especially, are very hard on themselves and suffer from that inner voice that tells us we are not good enough. You may have been able to tame the voice or ignore it and go on with your life before your divorce. But after divorce, this voice takes on a life of its own.
We tell ourselves we are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough and no one likes us. Rejection and feeling like you failed because your marriage ended can begin a spiral of negative self-talk. We believe this voice because it’s coming from past life experiences that give us “evidence” that what we are now feeling so intensely is true.
The past and the present and the future are all happening simultaneously. This is why we keep repeating the same patterns. Most of the time, we don’t do anything to heal or release the past, therefore it’s still with us. And the past beliefs and experiences make up our present life and unfold as our future. Until we do something about it.
We can heal the past and let it all go in order to move forward from this point on in a new and powerful way. We can banish the self-critic who says we don’t know how to change or that it would be too hard.
Staying in the same state of being is causing your suffering. It’s not too hard to heal the past. It’s not too late to change. It’s not scary when you realize that everything you’ve ever wanted is right there waiting for you to say YES to it. We don’t say yes, because we have this voice keeping us down.
It’s not your fault. You learned how to talk to yourself in this way from somewhere. It’s not empowering to cast blame on anyone, but it is important to uncover where it came from.
Once you can uncover where it began, you can go back and heal from that point and unravel the patterns that are like a live wire today. Once you heal, the wire has no more power.
If you are ready to banish your inner critic once and for all, book a FREE session with me to learn a method that works quickly and easily to smash through self-doubt and self-criticism so you can FINALLY move on to create a life you love.
Here are 10 quick ways to banish that inner critic on your own:
Pay Attention to Your Thoughts
Take a step back the next time you find yourself in a spiral of negative self-talk and notice how you feel. If you find the thoughts are making you feel terrible, replace it with a new thought. Create a positive statement that you can immediately replace the old one with. This is a quick way to raise your vibration (meaning your feel-good energy).
Practice loving kindness with yourself
It’s important to be gentle with yourself. After a divorce, there are so many negative thoughts and feelings swirling around that it’s difficult to see your way out. When you find yourself overwhelmed with all this negative self-talk, crying is the fastest way to release the pressure. You will then be able to see what you are actually doing to yourself. Beating up on yourself creates more trauma. Remember how you felt after a day of self-loathing and self-criticism? It feels like you’ve been at war inside.
Think of the part of you that is crying out because of this inner critic and talk to yourself as if you are the child being criticized. Most of the time, this is where our negative voice comes from. Be loving and kind to the child within and you will bring in a vibration of love which can quickly shift your energy to feeling good.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing ourselves to others is one of the most dangerous things we can do. It stops our Divine flow and makes us curl up inside with fear. This fear can stop us from making decisions in our own life that can create positive change. We feel we can never measure up so why bother trying.
Please if you feel this way, STOP. It’s damaging to your life. You and only you can contribute to the world like no one else. Therefore, if you continue to feel stuck because you feel you don’t have much to contribute like “the others,” the world loses out. And you lose out on fulfilling your highest potential. Never let ANYONE, including your ex, tell you anything different.
Meditate on the question, “is this true?“
Take a few minutes and sit with the inner critic and challenge it with the question, “is this true?” Allow the TRUTH to wash over you with peace. The truth is you are a Divine being which means you are beautiful, brilliant and capable of having, being and doing whatever YOUR heart desires.
Don’t allow the past and present lies keep you from accessing this brilliant part of who you are.
Be your biggest supporter
Be your own cheerleader. Look back on your past accomplishments including the good things that occurred during your marriage. You have not “failed.” I guarantee if you look back and write down all the things you are proud of or thankful for, you could fill a book. Take time to acknowledge yourself.
Keep a gratitude journal
This goes with being your biggest supporter. Look for what you are grateful for that happened in the past and what is happening in the present. I know it may feel a little harder to be thankful right now after divorce, but find the little things. The feeling of gratitude will begin to grow and your life will blossom like a rose, one day just opening.
Everyone makes mistakes; know you are not the mistake
If you can remember that there are no “mistakes,” your life will be more peaceful and joyful. Not only are there no mistakes, but you are not a mistake because of a decision or decisions you have made in your life. Let that sink in.
Ask for help
Sometimes we need outside help to navigate the inner world of turmoil. After a divorce is a perfect time to do this so you can move forward with a clean slate and create a life you love with all that your heart desires.
Click HERE to schedule a FREE call with me to breakthrough your biggest block to moving forward.
Stop a negative thought in its tracks
Create a positive statement that can halt the negative self-talk in its tracks. You can quickly turn your energetic state around by repeating a positive affirmation. The most powerful words to begin your statement are, “I am.” An example would be, “I am smart, talented and funny.”
This is also true with the inner critic. When we are beating ourselves up, most of the time we are beginning a statement with “I am _______ ” fill in the blank of whatever negative statements pop up. These are very powerful words. They work both ways. Be mindful of the statements you are making to yourself when you are feeling angry and fearful. Turn it around as quickly as you can and use the words, “I am” for your highest and greatest good.
Remember you have not failed
You have not failed anything. Whatever circumstances you are dealing with today are there to get your attention to FINALLY do the inner work to change the course of your life. And when you do, the light goes on and doors open and you can move forward with ease, grace and joy.
Wishing you so much love,
Lisa
Positive Quote of the Day: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brene Brown
Grab your copy of HEARTBREAK RECOVERY KIT today! It has a 3-step process that is the foundation for all that I teach. You can turn your life around quickly by following the principles in this Eguide.
